About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
