Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
