My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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