R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
