I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
