Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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