i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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