ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
