I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize