Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
