these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
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