I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
