I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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