he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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