Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
