i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
