Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
