so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize