Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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