Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
