Don't make out with my wife yet
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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