i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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