Non-Jews are for practice
We named our party play list daddy issues
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Randomize
