Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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