More tranny stories later!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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