My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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