My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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