Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
