You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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