Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
