Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
