I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
