We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
