I'm jealous of your bromance
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
