5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
