4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
