idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Is Oprah even human
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
