He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
