She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Holy shit dude........stairs
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
