): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
