Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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