Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
