i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
