The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize