Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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