I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
