Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
