i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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