Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
