oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He did a backflip because drugs
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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