Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So many bounce houses so little time
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
