: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
