if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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