R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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