I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
