If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
