I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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