with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize