"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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