Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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