Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
